Skip to main content

 ...Not Being Happy with My Progress Today

Here I am, looking at the remains of several big projects I sort of wandered into but probably won't finish in the course of the next year. And it has occurred to me that my goal of doing today's 500 Words is still on the table as well. Seems simple enough to just pick something from one of the projects and advance it by 500 words, right? Wrong! Let me explain...

One project is in a long slog mode. I know that anything I do now will just be spinning my wheels, so I have no desire for it today. Another project is one that has a specific steady goal for its next step, but I am on step 5 of like 200 for this phase, and when that phase is completed, I then get the task of trying to measure something that was built to be unmeasurable. Once that is done, the update needs to be tested on all my previous data points to weed out bugs. The last time I did this kind of project, it took a year and a half for the first part, and never got through the second part. Yet here I am trying the same kind of project on new data. Not a pleasant thought for me to tackle today.

I also have to contend with concerns outside sitting at a computer and writing. This is making me want to not do much of anything if I can help it. But doing nothing would be a disappointment, and today I don't want to be a total loss. That's why today's 500 Words is what it is.

It could be worse. I could be unable to convey any thoughts at all. That would be bad, as at least some of them need to be expressed. The jury is still out, however, over which ones qualify.

And then of course there is the time factor. I would like for projects to be "one and done", but as I mentioned above, mine don't tend to work out that way. I don't have the mentality to feel content in doing a small project and being happy about it. I also get frustrated at projects that beget other projects. This leads me to believe I am some sort of mental masochist, feeling frustrated for not starting some things, upset over things I do start but lead down rabbit holes, and then annoyed at the lack of anything actually finishing. 

But what is the alternative? A big brain needs a big canvas to paint on, but to make sense of it, it needs to be divided into its component parts and reassembled. This is part of why I am working on this: even when I can't figure out what my grand design is, I can post a part here and a part there and maybe someone else can figure it out.

So for now, I will just keep on keeping on, doing what I do until something comes along to crystallize the thoughts I have into a coherent goal. And when I do, watch out!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

 ...Walking through Spell Design I would like to take this time to walk through the how the Torg Eternity spell design looks today with examples of how current spells would appear as "on the fly" designs with explanations of the entries. To recall, an "on the fly" spell design takes the important aspects of the spell and divides them among the four magic skills. Each one would then be put into a Dramatic Skill Resolution and played out. When doing deliberate spell design, the process is done in a controlled setting over time, so each step would have effectively unlimited attempts at them. But what a deliberate spell design wants to do is create a new spell to add to the caster's repertoire, and what it values is balancing the amount of time spent working on the design with the final Difficulty Number of the spell. So a casting effectively repeats all the steps into one casting action, so counts as a Multi-Action on the four skills using the main skill for that s...
Post a Comment
Read more
 ..."Looking At" vs. "Looking Along" C. S, Lewis wrote many things in an attempt to explain Christianity as he knew it. One such writing was an essay called. "Mediation in a Toolshed" for which  an excellent video  has been made. It highlights an imbalance in our thinking that has only gotten worse over time. The essay begins by noticing that while in a dark toolshed, a sunbeam had through a crack at the top of the door. He was able to see the beam, with dust floating in it, and it seemed to be the only thing there. But when he stepped into it, all that vanished and he saw outside the leaves, the sky, and the sun that had produced the beam.  The first observation was him looking at  the beam, while the second observation was him looking along  the beam. One gives an outside account, while the other gives the inside participatory account. Other examples he gave are the person falling in love vs. a scientist measuring the physical reactions of the lover, o...
Post a Comment
Read more
 ...Spell Trappings, Part 2 This post is the conclusion of Spell Trappings, which was published just before this. Prerequisite A spell that requires another spell or Clearance Level to learn qualifies for the trapping of Prerequisite, The difficulty of obtaining the prerequisite determines the degree of Difficulty Number reduction. Restriction Most spells can be cast over and over. When one Fireball  ends, another can begin. Spells that place limits on how often they can be cast qualify for the Restriction trapping. A Restriction's value in reducing the Difficulty Number is based on the amount of time that must pass between castings. Self In the original Torg, there was a trapping for Touch. In that version, an unarmed combat  or similar test needed to be made to transfer the spell effect to the target. Torg Eternity 's Aysle Sourcebook specifies that Touch spells do not actually need to touch the target; merely being close enough to touch the target is good enough. So in...
Post a Comment
Read more